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Cheese elicits very strong emotions. Most, if not all people, know someone(s) who “LOOOOoOoOoOves cheese.” Who “would die if they couldn’t eat cheese.” Who “lives for cheese.” Similarly, most people also know someone(s) who despises cheese. Sometimes it’s because they’re lactose intolerant. Sometimes it’s because they think it’s stinky. Other times it’s because they’re vegan. Whatever side of the cheese debate you may be on, pro-, anti-, normal, it certainly gets tempers up.
This may seem like the beginning of one of those posts where I rank the top ten cheeses or whatever. I promise this whole article isn’t that. Though for clarity’s sake the ranking of the top ten best cheeses is as follows:
10. Parmesan
9. Brie
8. Pepper jack
7. Roquefort
6. Chèvre
5. Feta
4. Manchego
3. Burrata
2. Blue cheese
1. 15-year aged cheddar
Okay, ranking done. Argue about it in the comments if you like. Let’s get to the crux of what this newsletter is really about, aging.
A common misconception about wine is that the older it is, the better it is. This is only true for some wines. Wines that are meant to be aged, and are stored properly, often get better with time. Pretty much all the wine you buy at the grocery store is not meant to be aged. The same is true for cheese, but only more so. Aging a random piece of cheddar first found in the cheese aisle at Aldi’s will not lead to good things. The cheese will turn into a crusty, mold-covered, inedible hunk. Not great. You need proper equipment, maintenance, handling, and environment to correctly age a cheese.
This all seems like a lot of work and so far, there has been no discussion of the reward on the other side. The treat for having waited for fifteen years to eat some dang cheese. The reward is, of course, how delicious an aged cheddar tastes. There’s a reason that it’s number one on my list. It’s sharper than the damn Subtle Knife (shout out Philip Pullman), it’s complex, and it goes great on a grilled cheese. Really all you need out of a cheddar. The fifteen-year wait is doable just for that.
I’ve done a little bit of literary sleight of hand here, making it seem as if I, and by extension, my readers, are all going absolutely apeshit over aging our own cheeses. Let me tell you, nothing is further from the truth. I have never aged my own cheese, nor wanted to age my own cheese. Perhaps one or two of my dear readers have, but those people should not be trusted. When I want an aged cheese, I go to the store and buy one. They’re a little expensive so I don’t buy them regularly, but when the craving strikes, the craving strikes hard. I don’t even have to go to like a specialty cheese store to get it. The Mariano’s down the street from me has a fine cheese selection, including several aged cheddars. They’ve yet to lead me wrong. Nothing against your local fine cheesemonger, but I’m not trying to go out of my way all the time.
If you squint hard enough and need something to write about for your weekly newsletter, the ease with which I can access such finely aged cheeses poses somewhat of a philosophical conundrum. The fact that I can go to the store, buy a cheese that is older than most high-school freshmen, and then eat it, is astounding. Astounding in a way that sort of precludes having noticed how anything works in our modern world, but astounding nonetheless. Just thinking about the networks of trade, machinery, and technological development, as well as the long-term planning, necessary to sell something can reveal much about the world today, and what American culture values.
Framing it like that hides as much as it reveals, however. That cheese was made by cows bred and kept for their milk, poorly paid laborers made that cheese, and their hard work turned into profit for someone else, most likely some executive who has not touched a cow in thirty-odd years. It had to sit somewhere for fifteen years most likely in a large storage shed, taking up space that could be used for other, perhaps more productive or beneficial things. This is all not to mention the negative environmental impact of cheese production, which is quite considerable. There are exceptions, of course, perhaps your 15-year-aged cheddar is made by a sweet old couple from Vermont who are just trying to keep themselves busy in retirement. Or maybe, it’s from a worker’s co-op, owned and operated by the workers themselves, sharing the profits from their cow-friendly and eco-consciousness farming methods. Most likely though, it’s not.
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t eat that cheese. There are certainly worse things that you can do. The cheese is good, and it’s cool that stuff other than American cheese and Colby Jack is available in stores now. The thing is that most of us are so far removed from where and how our food gets produced, that we just don’t think of all that it takes to get everything in your local grocery store, to your local grocery store. I’ve written about this before on here, but it’s a point worth repeating, I think. I’m not calling for some kind of RETVRN thing here either. That whole Homesteading conservatism “movement” is bullshit and reactionary. Even from a leftist perspective, everyone canning their own pickles isn’t going to bring about the revolution. Maybe it’ll get us 99% of the way there, but that last 1% has to be done via non-home canned pickle means.
So, what am I calling for? Great question. Mostly what I want is more unionization in dairy factories, greener production methods, and bigger government programs for supplying food to communities across the country. If that happens to include the production of more 15-year-aged cheddar, all the better. If the demand is not there though, I’d happily trade away my treats for better social programs, worker rights, and a clean environment. Seems like a good trade to make.
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