Best Super Bowl Snacks, Ranked
Yes, the Super Bowl was yesterday. No one ever said Dang Dude cared about SEO
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The Super Bowl took place yesterday. At least if you’re reading this on February 14th, 2022 it did. I can’t be held responsible if you’re reading this on another date. Not my problem. I tried to think of a more timeless lede but couldn’t come up with anything. Alas. As I’ve written about before, the Super Bowl is a great time to meet up with friends and eat food together. While the biggest of football games doesn’t have as many traditional foods as say a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, there are still some staples. In the interests of science, I’ve decided to rank the ten most delicious ones, once and for all settling all debates over which is the best food to have at a Super Bowl party. As always, if you think my list is wrong then feel free to keep your opinions to yourself. Unless you pay for the newsletter, then you can tell me to my face. Here is the list, in reverse order.
Chips – This entry in the list covers Fritos, tortilla, and potato. Also pretzels if you’re feeling frisky and above the fray semiotics wise. Chips are great for dips, and just filling in those little cracks in the stomach when it’s the fourth quarter and you just want something light to munch on. I like a little lime juice on my tortilla chips, but that’s just me.
Those little mini quiches – These little jobs are truly amazing. Just pop them in the microwave, or oven, or toaster over, and you’ve got some fancy hors d'oeuvres for an elevated Super Bowl party. I think you can get them at Costco? I’ve never actually purchased them, but whenever they’re at a party I make sure that I get one, or two. Or three if we’re being honest.
Guacamole – Guac. My girlfriend makes the best guacamole in the world, so I have to apologize to everyone who doesn’t get to taste it. Even if you don’t have the chance to taste hers, other regular gucas should do the trick. Unless it’s the guac in the Kalona Mennonite Cookbook because that recommends adding mayo to the guacamole, which is just a step too far. No need to get mayo anywhere near a guac. Just ridiculous. The trick is to not make it too far in advance, so it doesn’t get brown. No one likes an overoxidized guac.
Queso – Queso, that beautiful mix of molten cheese and salsa, is a straight banger. Not much better than some queso on a tortilla chip, or mixed in with your mac and cheese. You can make it spicy or mild, or anywhere in between. A wonderful addition to any super bowl party. As with all cheesy dishes though, you have to make sure to try and keep it warm. Don’t need a chilled queso.
Veggie Tray – Some people may be surprised by how far up the list veggie tray is, but let me tell you, it shouldn’t be surprising at all. A good veggie tray is the backbone of any Super Bowl party. Carrots and celery, maybe even a few sweet peppers or broccoli, all provide excellent sturdy vehicles for dips, and other wonderful flavors. They also provide a nice fresh palette cleanser in the middle of all the other heavy stuff. And you can’t have buffalo wings without some celery you know?
Mac and Cheese – Another rib sticker for those cold February nights, mac and cheese is a great stress-free snack to have at your Super Bowl party. You can make it fancy, or easy breezy simple. The only trick is making sure it stays hot or a decent amount of the game. No one likes a cold mac and cheese. For bonus points, mix in a little bit of the Buffalo chicken dip. That’s a winner.
Wings – These would be higher on the list, if it wasn’t for the fact that wings are a bit of a hassle to make at home. They’re also very expensive at the moment, the price on wings have risen a bunch in recent months. But, if you, or the host of the whatever party you’re attending, has decided to take the effort to make wings, you won’t be disappointed. Just like ribs, wings can come in a variety of flavors, pretty much all of them worth eating. Just make sure you have a napkin nearby.
Buffalo Chicken Dip – Oooowweeeeeeee. If you haven’t had buffalo chicken dip, you are missing out. My only tip is that, unless you are the one making it, do not look at the ingredients list. There is really no reason too. The Super Bowl is not a day for “counting calories” or whatever health fad thing you’re doing. All you need to know is that it’s easy to make and tastes delicious on anything from a pita, to a carrot stick, to a tortilla chip.
Chili – Another football classic, chili should stick to your damn ribs. For the first several decades of my life I was pro-beans in chili, though I’ve recently switched to become if not anti-bean, then at least bean agnostic. A beanless Texas-style chili, full of braised beef chunks is hard to beat, especially on a cold winter’s day. Pack up your bowl with cheddar, sour cream, green onions, and maybe some Fritos for a real treat.
Ribs – There is nothing better than a rib on game day. Nothing more American than sucking down on some hog bones. Whether you smoke them, grill them, throw ‘em in the oven, or even – god forbid – get them delivered, they’re going to be good. Dry rubs, glazes, sauces, so many different flavor options, enough to satisfy even the pickiest of palettes. As a bonus, since making them is such a time-consuming adventure, you get an excuse to do nothing but cook the day of the Super Bowl.
This is of course an incomplete list. I didn’t even mention those little cocktail wieners, or meatballs that people have at their parties. While it may be incomplete, it is the best list. Can’t be topped. No matter how hard you try.