Enema of the State Songs, Ranked
Travis Barker is the greatest rock drummer of all time
The world has produced a vast number of artistic masterworks. The Mona Lisa, “Pericles’ Funeral Oration” by Thucydides, the Library of Alexandria, and Blink-182’s Enema of the State all come to mind when thinking about some of the most beautiful, majestic magnum opusses[1] to ever bless our senses. Humans are a beautiful species.
While it may seem crass to treat the precious gem that is Enema of the State to the ranking process, this exercise does hold value. Every song on this record is perfect, but some are more perfect than others. It is the job of the critic to enhance their reader’s listening pleasure with analysis and rich description, allowing for a fuller enjoyment of the music.[2] I take this job very seriously, so, without further ado, here are the songs on Enema of the State, ranked.
12. Anthem
Sorry, but this song is dumb. It has somehow inspired an Anthem, Part 2, and an Anthem, Part 3 which I just don’t understand. I know that there is a certain element of the fandom that likes these songs, but I will never get it. It’s not like actively unlistenable, but why would I spend my precious limited time subjecting myself to these guys trying to be deep? That is not their skill set nor why people like them. At least it’s the last song on the album, so by the time you get there, it’s not a problem that the song kinda stinks.
11. Going Away to College
I am going to give this tune the critical kiss of death and call it boring. There’s nothing that interesting going on here and so it kind of just sits around. Like an old glob of congealing fat on a cooling stove. Sure, there are a couple of moments where the lyrics flow off the tongue, but nothing isn’t done better elsewhere on the album. I’m sure someone graduating high school in 1999 fully cried while listening to this song, but that’s their problem. It’s fine! And on an album of all bangers, that’s just not enough.
10. Adam’s Song
To some very deluded people, this is the best song that Blink-182 has ever written. Those people are WRONG. It should be impossible for anyone to take seriously a song that has the lyrics “Remember the time that I spilled the cup / of apple juice in the hall.” Not good! I know this is like a serious song about serious topics, but Blink-182 is not the band to handle that. Good bassline though. It does have that going for it. There’s also a fun mash-up out there of Jay-Z’s “Dirt Off Your Shoulder” and “Adam’s Song.” Go listen to that instead.
9. The Party Song
There are, if one has to say something negative about this song, too many words in it. There’s no need to try and sing so fast! Chill out for a second. I get what they’re trying to do, capture the nervous feeling of asking someone on a date, but like relax a bit, you’re killing the vibe dudes. Also, it’s very rude to make fun of ska bands, imo. This song is middle-of-the-road Blink, which is not an insult. Middle-of-the-road peak Blink-182 is still 1000% better than what most bands can do.
8. Mutt
Reading the “Genius” annotations on pre-Untitled Album Blink-182 songs is very funny because every single one is “This song is about a girl that Tom/Mark/Travis had a crush on.” Yeah, obviously, man. What the hell else would a late 90s pop-punk song be about? The economy? The eternal pain of male friendships? The small joys of lost American towns? Don’t think so! In any case song is a bit of a throwback to Buddha–era Blink, in that it’s a little rough around the edges, but still has that certain charm. We’re now getting into the really good stuff here.
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7. Wendy Clear
Hearing Mark Hoppus sing “nuclear device” is very funny to me. He really leans into the pronunciation, eating up those syllables. Whenever I listen to this song I’m always surprised that it didn’t become more popular. If anything the riff is more radio-friendly/memorable than “What’s My Age Again.” But that just goes to show that I do not have the mind of a radio executive. Probably for the best. Anyway, this is a high-key banger that should be higher on everyone’s list.
6. Don’t Leave Me
This is just a really great song for singing in the car on a warm spring night. Killer riff, fun little lyrical runs, and a chorus that’s good for shouting, no matter how much you relate or don’t relate to the lyrics. Cute little layering thing on the “One more time with feeling” parts. When someone says pop-pink this is exactly the type of song that you think of. On any other album, it’d be a top-two track.
5. What’s My Age Again
This is probably Blink-182’s second or third most famous song. It’s good, great even, but certainly not their best song. It’s also kind of funny to watch them perform now as 50+ year-olds. But that’s neither here nor there. The song itself is propulsive, emotionally resonant to middle-class suburban teens, and has some killer drum fills. Also, there’s the music video, which I won’t post here, but I’m sure you’ve seen it. I could tell a very long story about what stupid stunt the video inspired my friends to do one day after we took the PSAT, but it’s better told in person.
4. Dysentery Gary
I mean sometimes you just have to write a song about a guy who poops his pants. It happens! This is music about real life. Universal and yet specific. The stuff that true artistry is made of. It also doesn’t hurt that the guitar riff on this track is up there with the all-time greats. Hoppus on the bass is no slouch on this song either. This song has a bit of an interesting structure in that the chorus is tied up in the verses and there’s like eight different bridges. I’m sure there’s a technical word for what’s going on here, but I don’t know it. Whatever it is, it’s cool.
3. Dumpweed
Yes, yes, this song is *problematic*,[3] but it also rips. If you want a really current news metaphor, this is a song that Southern Charm’s Craig Conover would sing about his ex, Summer House’s Paige DeSorbo. If you are in the know at all, you know that Craig is the bad guy in that, now-ended, relationship. While the content of the song is, uh, no bueno,[4] the music itself is [18 Fire Emojis in a row]. Killer track.
2. Aliens Exist
This song rules if only because it proves that Tom DeLonge knew the truth decades before the rest of us. It is not a mystery as to what this tune is about, just look at the title. Blink-182 is a band that loves to eschew subtlety and embrace frankness[5] which is one of their finest qualities. This is a song that is about aliens existing and nothing else. It is nominative deterministic in a very poetic way. And it slaps too.
1. All the Small Things
“Work sucks, I know” - sung by Tom DeLonge, written by DeLonge and Mark Hoppus. This lyric and this lyric alone launched Blink-182 into superstardom and proved that they were the voice of the people. Vox Populi if you will. There is no greater poetry than this sentiment. Also, basically, every single one of my friends has played this song at their wedding, so you know it’s a banger. I saw Weezer mess up a cover of this at Riot Fest in 2016, which is very funny. This song has like three chords. How do you mess it up?! Anyway, if this song doesn’t make you happy on some level, you are for sure a grinch.
[1] This is, most assuredly, incorrect. Don’t tell me what the correct pluralization of “opus” is. I simply do not care.
[2] t’s also the critic’s job to rip dumb shit to shreds.
[3] That’s #problematic to all my elder millennials.
[4] Yes, I know that’s not correct spanish for “no good”
[5] I’m going Mr. Milchik mode.
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