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It’s June and I haven’t written about grilling yet. I’m surprised no one called for a wellness check on me. Shame on everyone. I thought you all knew and cared about me. I will try to get over it.
In any case, temps are rising, the sun doesn’t set until late, and the smell of sausage is in the air. Grilling season is here! To be fair, I’ve been grilling since early March. But that’s the Devil’s grilling time, especially in Chicago. Only the most foolhardy grill in March. I had to use a headlamp to see the food on the grill. And wear a coat! June provides such grilling luxuries as sunlight and warmth. Truly pleasant.
I’ve written about my grill situation on this site before, but it’s worth going over again. I rock a black Weber grill. Nothing fancy, nothing special. Not that I have anything against fancy stuff mind you. It’s my dream to one day spend a wildly exorbitant amount of money on a grilling setup. Gas grill, smoker, roasting pit, pizza oven, the works. Maybe one day. For now, I just buy my charcoal from Costco and pray to whoever the relevant Catholic saint is that everything will work out for the best. I guess I should mention that I also have a charcoal chimney and a veggie grill pan. Two great additions for any budding grill master.
Since grilling season is here, and countless people are buying grills for the first time, I thought I’d offer up some tips for new grillers. This is not to say that I am an award-winning pitmaster or whatever, but I am a dab hand at backyard BBQs and think I can offer one or two suggestions for people who might find it a little scary. Take these as starting suggestions. If you find something else that works for you, then do that! No one should be a hardass when it comes to cooking food over hot coals imo.
Tip One: Be patient!
Grilling takes some time, especially if you’re using charcoal. It takes a while to get the coals in a good place for cooking, and you need to learn to embrace that. Food also takes longer than you think to cook. Even on gas grills, which heat up much quicker, give yourself extra time. Steaks, brats, burgers, all take longer to cook than you think. Even if it’s seared and black on the outside, the inside is probably still underdone. I am impatient all the time! I get too hungry and take off whatever I’m grilling before it’s done. Give your food the time on the grill that it deserves.
Tip Two: Don’t Take It Personal
At some point, you’re gonna mess up. You’ll serve a guest an undercooked chicken breast, or you’ll lose a dog in the grate, you’ll get charcoal dust on a burger. Those and a million other things will happen. And it’s okay! You’re not running a three-star Michelin restaurant out of your dang backyard! You’re grilling and chilling with your friends. If your friend is pissed that you like got their frozen burger puck a little too burnt, well then that’s their problem! Get better friends. Someone’s mad that their steak was medium-well instead of medium? Tell ‘em to kick rocks! It’s a steak! They can eat it or leave it!
Tip Three: Buy More Than You Think You’ll Need
The worst thing you can do at a BBQ is run out of food. People get hangry or jealous of the people who got to eat. Nobody wants that. People always eat way more at a grill out than they think they will. Someone who normally eats only one hot dog will probably gobble down three. A two-burger guy might go for a third. Your one friend that goes by “Skunk” is gonna want to eat like eighteen chicken wings and three ears of corn. You’d better be prepared. Jesus is not going to come down and turn your five loaves of bread into one hundred burger buns.
Tip Four: Don’t Be Afraid of Vegetables
There’s not much better than grilled corn, or peppers, or zucchini, or onions, or a thousand other things. People often treat steaks or whatever as the height of grilling. Don’t get me wrong, a charcoal-grilled steak, or salmon, or whatever is great! But grilled veggies also really hit the spot. And not just veggies. Fruit too. I had some grilled plums last week. They were great! Really really good. Mix up what you’re doing! Experiment. Branch out. The world is your oyster. Something you could also grill if you wanted.
Tip Five: Grab Something Off the Grill For Yourself
You’re the grill master. But that doesn’t mean you have to starve yourself. So don’t forget to eat! Take something off the grate for yourself. Few things taste better than a bit of food taken right off a hot grill. Very few things. Don’t be greedy and eat all the food you made for your guests, but also don’t feel bad about sneaking a few choice pieces for yourself. I prefer the little bits that sometimes get stuck to the grate myself. Very good.
That’s all I got for you. Hopefully, they help. If they don’t then you can read another blog I guess? I just don’t want to hear about it. Keep your complaints to yourself. I have better things to deal with.