Smoked Oyster Dip

When you dip, I dip, we dip

Nothing says “I’m a person of immense taste and class” like an oyster dip. Nothing. Not even drinking Pinot Noir by the Seine while reading Proust.[1] Smoked oyster dip is more than just a signifier of excellence, it’s also a great thing to bring to a Super Bowl party. Which is why you’re getting this week’s newsletter two days early. I wanted to give everyone time to get some ingredients and prepare this dip for whatever party you’re going to so that you can watch “The Big Game.”[2]

Dips are also the best thing to make. They’re easy, taste delicious, and not too expensive to make. The perfect combo. Whether you’re hosting the Super Bowl, or bringing something to a friend’s place, this makes for a perfect contribution.

A note. You may be tempted to get fresh smoked oysters. This is not a reasonable thing to consider. Canned, or tinned for all my Bon Appétit readers, is the best option here. Even disregarding the fact that fresh smoked is inherently contradictory when it comes to seafood, non-canned smoked oysters are basically impossible to find. Maybe you live by a fishmonger that has some, but there’s like a one-in-a-million chance of that.

So, get a couple of nice tins of smoked oysters for this. People have been canning things for centuries and it’s a very safe and efficient way to store food. There are some very high-quality tins out there. Look for Patagonia, Otter Kingdom, Ekone, or really any non- Chicken of the Sea type brand.

You could use fresh or non-smoked tin oysters for this if you want. I can’t stop you from doing anything. You’d miss out on some of the flavor that makes this dip great, but hey, to each their own.

Okay, let’s jump to the recipe.

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Ingredients:

Two 3 oz. cans of smoked oysters, drained (See note above on oyster requisition. You can also use only one can, but like don’t be a cheapskate, ya know. Pays to be generous)

8 oz. cream cheese, room temperature[3]

1 tablespoon lemon juice

Zest of one lemon

½ shallot diced extremely fine or microplaned

1 tablespoon chopped capers

1 tablespoon chopped dill

1 tablespoon chopped parsley

1 tablespoon red pepper flakes

1 teaspoon chopped chives

1 teaspoon smoked paprika

1 teaspoon vinegar-based hot sauce

Salt and Pepper, to taste

To serve:

Saltines

Ritz crackers

Regular Ruffles[4]

Celery

Extra chives

Caviar[5]

Preparation Instructions:

Combine all ingredients in a food processor. Blitz until just combined. You want a dip with some texture, not a smooth pâté. Cover and let sit in the fridge for a few hours. Take out of the fridge 30-minutes before serving.

Top dip with extra chives and caviar if using. Scoop with Celery/crackers/chips.

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[1] I’ve done one of these three things

[2] The Great Gridiron Gallivant

[3] know you’re going to use Philadelphia, but I hate to promote a brand. Unless they’re going to pay me. Then I’d do it. Not selling out is for suckers.

[4] I know what I said about brands. Whatever.

[5] I mean, you can serve caviar with anything. It would be extra good here though.

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