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At this point in time this newsletter devotes itself on the main with the things I either love or despise. I did not start out with the idea that it would become this, a missive obsessed with my personal likes and dislikes – I imagined that it would become a world-spanning newsletter with a highly devoted fandom, and an exemplary of written English – but that’s what Substack, and blogging in general, seems to be made for. The best of them come from people who are interested in highly specific things and can write about them on an entertaining level, without boring people with the details too much. At least those are the ones that I most enjoy reading, Ashley Feinberg’s Trashberg, Tim Marchman’s Popping Tins, and Leonard Pierce’s The Ludic Log all come to mind of Substack’s that fall in that general category.
Dang Dude, What the Heck has never really been about one thing. Maybe that’s a problem, but I like it like that, and people, mostly, keep reading it, so who gives a shit? From a certain angle it’s funny to me that this newsletter is mostly about things that I like. People who have known me for a while come to realize that preferred topics of conversation revolve around things I do not like. Or, more accurately, I rarely talk about stuff that I enjoy, and tend to dump on stuff that I don’t like. So Dang Dude, has been a bit of switch for me. Not in that I don’t write the occasionally negative piece, but in that I’ve written far more about stuff that I do like instead of the stuff that I hate. It’s been a nice change.
I guess I should where I want to end up with this preamble. I guess that quip about Substacks needing editors rings true for a reason. Today’s epistle is another in the Dang Dude series covering things that Dylan likes. This week, I’m going to talk all about making Excel spreadsheets. I know that last sentence reads like a joke. Read it while doing a Jay Leno impression if you’re having trouble understanding the rhythm. Oddly enough however, I am not kidding. I actually do enjoy the process of constructing spreadsheets. Prior to my life in academia I had a job where making spreadsheets counted for about 30% of my day. The other 70% sucked hard, but that 30% really ruled. And since this newsletter is about stuff that rules, not stuff that sucks, so we won’t get into it. Because I’m not a historian in the 70s – sorry for the historiography joke – I don’t do a lot of spreadsheets in my day-to-day life. This means that I have to make up for it in other places. Oddly enough, that place ends up being fantasy football.
I should be clear, I don’t mean like super fancy or complicated spread sheets. Below is a picture of what I’m talking about. Just a nice simple PivotTable and a few PivotCharts if I’m feeling fancy. No VLookup or macros here. This specific chart tracks win rate vs draft position in our league. Pretty useless information all in all. The data doesn’t even include the entire existence of the league, due to a myriad of factors out of my hands. Position is randomly assigned at the beginning of the actual draft, so you can’t even do anything with these actual numbers except curse if you’ve been placed third. So, I don’t spend time on these charts trying to get an edge in my fantasy league. That would be real nerd hours. No, I spend time on Excel because I enjoy moving everything around until it looks good. Decidedly unnerdy.
A quick aside. If I had to describe the perfect job, it’d be making charts like these. That is, getting paid to make mostly useless Excel spreadsheets for people who don’t care if there are mistakes on them. I wouldn’t have to deal with clients, or people demanding that I work at a certain pace, and just make money to mess around with numbers for a bit. I know this job does not exist, or if it does, it’s some EVP position where you need to be the CEO’s kid to get it. But a boy can dream. Aside over.
Another quick aside. I’m not sure why I keep mentioning when I’m doing an aside. I do them almost like every week. I’m sure you know what I’m doing by now! You’re smart. Second aside over.
I haven’t thought about why I like making Excel spreadsheets so much. Once you’ve done one or two, they’re pretty much all the same. Sometimes the raw data is in rough shape and you have to figure out the best way to make it useable. Other times you have to mess with the PivotTable settings a bunch until you get what you need. That’s part of why I like it, messing around with the settings until you get a real concrete thing that makes sense. So much of what I do in my daily life doesn’t lead to immediate outcomes. Making something, even if it’s just a bunch of pixels on a screen, feels good. That’s what Das Kapital, and a thousand other books are about on some level. Owning the product of my labor. So, not really a deep observation on my part. Just because it’s shallow doesn’t mean it’s not true though.
I often talk about how much I dislike work and working. That is somewhat of a misstatement. I don’t like working when someone else is making way more money off me than I get in return. So pretty much every job I’ve ever had. There are certainly jobs that are easier, or more enjoyable than others, but the getting taken advantage of thing really gets my goat. I enjoy work when I get to make stuff for myself. Take this newsletter for example. It’s definitely work, but I very much enjoy doing it. Same for the spreadsheets. They’re mostly boring menial work, but I have a good time doing it. Mostly because it’s something for myself, something that no one else can make money off or take advantage of.
I don’t want to make it seem like this is what I’m thinking about when I make spreadsheets. Mostly I’m just figuring out which shade of grey looks best in the header. And whether to use the average or the sum of points scored when charting who had the best season. Real nerd stuff. Everyone needs something to do that they like that’s just for themselves after all.
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