They Should Let Me Run SNL
My first act? Letting Sinead O'Connor tear up as many pictures of the Pope as she wants.
Note: This is a slightly revised version of a piece originally published on Medium on August 2nd.
Yesterday SNL announced the hiring of 3 new cast members: Chloe Fineman, Bowen Yang, and Shane Gillis. Comedy nerds eat this shit up and there were congrats all around. Especially when one person, Bowen Yang, got promoted from writer to actor, a rarity in SNL’s history. However Shane Simons, a comedy reporter, quickly found some fucked-up shit that another of the new hires, Shane Gillis, said in 2018. Follow this link for a more detailed report. It’s wild that SNL doesn’t screen it’s new hires. And that’s why they should let me be in charge
For many comedians, whether they’ll admit it or not, getting cast on Saturday Night Live is the ultimate career goal. Arguably, the only reason that UCB, Second City, and iO remain in business is their ability to get people in front of SNL’s higher ups. People pay thousands of dollars to take classes at these theaters for the minute chance to perform in front of Lorne Michaels. The founder and leader of SNL for these last 44-odd years, not counting his two stints away from the throne, Michaels casts a long shadow over American comedy history, jump starting the careers of an uncountable number of comedians. Time for him to let me do it.
SNL runs like three maybe four good sketches a year. Pretty much everything else sucks major shit. They fired the guy who did I Think You Should Leave. What the Hell? The politics sketches haven’t been good since Hammond’s Clinton. Alec Baldwin is whatever the opposite of funny is. They cut Jenny Slate, a national treasure. Colin Jost, a bowl of old yogurt that gained sentience, continues on as the head writer. And along with Michael “I’mma Get Mad on Instagram For The Next 5 Days” Che he runs the least funny Weekend Update Desk the show has ever seen. Good god. Just let me do it for a year.
Outlining why SNL is garbage does not explain why I should get the job however. I should get it for multiple reasons. One, I’m dumb. This is good for comedy. There needs to be way less trying to be smart stuff and way more dumb stuff. Two, I’d fire Colin Jost immediately. Three, I’d ban Baldwin from the show. Four, I’d let them do funny stuff like make fun of Dan Crenshaw that idiot congressman. Five, every week the musical guest would be They Might Be Giants. Six, After doing the show for one year I would cancel it and let it die in peace. SNL is no longer useful or good.
NBC let me run SNL. It will be good