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As approximately thirteen million TikToks, tweets, Facebook statuses, and LinkedIn posts will tell you, it is Soup Season. Soup, of course, is a year-round meal but the powers-that-be – social media influencers – have decided that we can know only eat it in the fall and winter. Who am I to argue with our new Gods, people who have more than 100k followers on your social media app of choice? So, in honor of the onset of Soup Season I have decided which soups are the best soups. This ranking is final, and correct.
1. French onion
The king of soups. Simply incredible. Not much to say about this one, other than that I use the recipe of some guy who goes by the name “BonerHitler” on Twitter. It’s a really good and easy recipe. Chrissy Tiegen follows him. It takes a lot of time to do this one right, but it’s definitely worth it. Also, if you can get your hands on some nice ramekins, then be sure to use them to broil the gruyere on top of the soup. Very much a good use of your time and the extra dishes. Just make sure to cook down those onions low and slow until they’re a rich golden brown.
2. Beef chili
Chili can get a bad rap sometimes. Some people see as a “hick” food. Maybe I’m just projecting my own insecurities here, but isn’t that what this whole newsletter is about? And anyway Lt. Columbo eats chili so who are you to judge? Chili is one of the first recipes I ever learned how to cook. While I’ve upgraded the recipe from the one in the “Kids Can Have Fun Cooking Too” cookbook, it will always remain close to my heart, and my arteries. I prefer beef, but am willing to and have eaten delicious vegetarian, chicken, pork, shrimp, and tempeh chilis. I’m recently moved away from adding beans, but I am by no means against them.
3. Shrimp corn chowder/etouffee
I put these both together even if they couldn’t be more different. The only thing they really share is the use of everyone’s favorite crustacean. I only have ten spots though and there are a lot of different soups I have to squeeze in here. As someone who was born in New Orleans, I need to support my Creole brothers and sisters with the inclusion of at least one etouffee. I also just love the corn and shrimp combo in the chowder. Very underrated duo, corn and shrimp. The sweetness of the corn really enhances the saltiness of the shrimp. Oh. I remembered another similarity. They both go well with hot sauce.
4. Clam Chowder
I’m not talking about the abomination that is tomato-based clam chowder here. None of that Manhattan bullshit. I’m talking about the good stuff New England Clam Chowder, full of clam bits, and topped with oyster crackers. Damn, it’s 9:30 am as I write this and I’m getting hungry for some chowder right now. I was lucky enough to have some in Maine last year, and it was amazing. Angels started singing the dang Doxology when I ate that stuff. Praise God from whom all chowders flow. That’s a Mennonite joke.
5. Beef stew
I’ve already talked about how sometimes I pretend that that I run a medieval fantasy tavern on twitter. I do that mostly because part of me believes that every European between 900-1300 CE only ate beef stew. I know this is wrong, 99% of them only ate cabbage gruel, but I choose to believe it anyway. The wonders of the modern mind. Beef stew is really good, and you can take it to a whole other level by serving it with mashed potatoes. Trust me.
6. Lemongrass, Charred Corn and Zucchini Soup
Every year my dad, a professor at the University of Montana hosts a “soup and pie night,” where he invites his students over to have soup and pie. It’s cute. One year, when I was living at home after I graduated from said college and did not have a job, he took pity on me and paid me to make the soups for soup and pie. This was one of them. It was good as hell. A very “fresh” soup, the charred corn gives it a little bit of an extra smoky flavory that really ties the whole thing together. Good stuff.
7. Roasted Garlic Potato Leek Soup
This seems like one of those fake soups. A Skyrim-ass soup. The type of soup that you see on a menu and think to yourself, “that’s just there as filler, no one actually orders it. They’ll probably tell me they’re out if I order it.” But it’s not. It’s good. Roasted garlic makes just about anything better, and the combination of potato and leek is up there with chocolate/peanut butter, and bread/butter in my book. I have German and Swiss ancestors, so I love a starch. Leeks, a relative of the onion, are super easy to cook with too, though you have to make sure to really clean them out as they can get dirty.
8. Beef Bourguignon
Julia Child knew what she was talking about when she said this was good as hell. And who am I to argue with the creator of Julie & Julia? Jk. I know she didn’t invent that movie. She’s dead! Beef Bourguignon is basically just beef and bacon cooked in red wine for a couple of hours. No way to predict that something like that would be good. No way at all. While it’s dangerous to have this more than once a year, I do treasure the one time a year I am allowed to eat it. I usually make it at the end of fall semester. It just feels right.
9. Pho
*Overly enunciating my pronunciation so that everyone knows that I know what I’m talking about* It’s pronounced Fuh. Anyway, there was a pretty good Pho place on the University of Montana campus for a while and that’s where I first had it. I’ve never made it, because I haven’t set aside the time needed, but I will always try to get it whenever I can. Just hold the jalapenos. Too spicy.
10. Ramen
Yeah, I live in Logan Square, why do you ask? Ramen may be one of those hipster foods that people like to make fun of white millennials for eating, but it obviously has a history that goes back before 2010 which is the first time most white people even heard of ramen. I prefer a Tonkotsu and a thicker noodle, but am more than willing to try all types of bases and noodle thicknesses. I’m just a cool guy like that. But once again, hold the spice. My ass can’t handle that shit.
So there it is. The ten best soups. Want to argue with me? Subscribe and pay for this and maybe I’ll hear your complaints. Otherwise, can it!
When I visited you a while back, you made me that seared broccoli and potato soup, and it was so good! Would've made my top 10 I think. Also, I highly recommend this Caribbean Sweet Potato Soup with Gingered Shrimp because of all the toppings: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/5101-caribbean-sweet-potato-soup-with-gingered-shrimp?action=click&module=RecipeBox&pgType=recipebox-page®ion=soups&rank=3
These are all fine...a little beef heavy. Beef stew, Beef Bourguignon, and arguably, french onion soup, are just variations on a theme, albeit good ones. I'd put on my list a basic black bean soup, a curried lentil or split pea soup for a nice cold day, a spicy caribbean sweet potato/coconut milk soup, and yes, a good hearty chicken noodle soup in whatever variation you prefer. From your list, I'd drop the chili, the clam chowder, beef stew, and the french onion to make room for them. Cheers.